Herring Impaired/Transcript
|General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Other|Other}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- ---- Scene I: Penguin HQ Skipper is making a ship in a bottle, and has just finished attaching the sails. Skipper: Now that's fine looking poop deck. I mean usually I had trouble with my poop deck... But this poop deck is cut off by Private's laughter Skipper pauses and stares at Private, who stops at seeing Skipper's expression. Private: Oh... Skipper: Rico, pass me the final haul section. Rico rummages around the box. Skipper: Come on, come on! Let's cork this vessel! Rico mumbles. Skipper: Last piece, slams his flippers down at the table, knocking the bottle away ''missing... weeks of work ''again... wasted! again As Skipper bangs the table, he caused the bottle to roll off the other side. Kowalski grabs it and returns it to Skipper. Kowalski: Skipper... Skipper: Kowalski, cover the Private's ears. I intend to use my angry words. Kowalski and Rico cover Private's ears, The screen changes to exterior view of the habitat as Skipper screams several muffled swear words.' ' A chimp's scream is heard off-screen, The screen goes back to the interior. Rico: Wow! Private: [timidly] I still heard! smiles Scene II: Chimpanzee Habitat The penguins, with the ship are discussing the box to the chimps. Mason: Yes, we can give you the manufacturer's address. We're just not sure why you need it Skipper: Primate, this is a payback operation. Missing piece payback. The less you know, the better. Phil makes a series of hand gestures. Mason: Phil's sign language Phil insists there are no missing pieces. Apparently your model is the S.S. Fiscanlut. Skipper: Denmark! Mason: Actually, Norway. Private: You don't have anything against the Norwegians, do you, Skipper? Skipper: No, I'm ambivalent to those fjord-loving sons of vikings. Kowalski: They did invent the cheese slicer. Skipper: Well! Point for Norway. Mason: to translate ''100 years ago, the Fiscanlut sank with a full catch of brine-preserved herring... ''The penguins, hearing about the herring, are distracted. Private: A full catch... of tender, mouth-watering herring? Rico: mouth waters Fish... Mason: Your missing piece represents the breach that sank the vessel, as a reminder of man's fragile... He looks at the penguins and sees the expressions on their faces Mason:: ...And you're still thinking about the herring, aren't you? Skipper: An entire catch of herring, ripe for undersea retrival. Rico: with hunger Kowalski: "Ripe" is indeed the word, Skipper. After 100 years of being preserved in brine, that herring should taste somewhere between nectar of the gods and slap your mama delicious! Rico grabs the bottle and starts beating it, also hitting Mason in the head. Unsuccessful, he then sticks his tongue through the opening before trying to fit his foot inside. Skipper:'' Rico'' Dial down the psycho, compadre! There's a time and a place for that kind of nonsense! Private: chuckling Really, when is... Skipper: 18 minutes from now, in the lower New York Bay. Scene III: New York Bay The penguins' submarine sinks, they close the hatch and scope the area. Kowalski: (frustrated) Curse these Norwegian charts! I mean, who measures in metric beard lengths? Private: (disappointed) Nothing on the sonar yet, Skipper. Skipper: Steady and fast. Rico's uncandied fish senses should kick in any... Rico starts sniffing. Rico: Fish! Skipper: Mr. Kowalski, follow that beak! Rico points left, Kowalski turns to port Rico: Fish! Rico suddenly sniffs the other direction, Kowalski turns that way, The submarine goes both ways until it faces the screen, which changes the shot to a ship, that is exactly that Ship-in-a-Bottle. Skipper: There she lies. Kowalski, herring salvage options. Kowalski: Touchy operation, Skipper. After a century of salt water, that crate could fall apart with the slightest jarring. The keywords here are slow, deliberate... Rico runs past him Rico: Whoo-hoo! Kowalski: (panicking) Oh bad Rico! Bad Rico! Computerized voice: Torpedo One. Rico is shot out of the torpedo tube. Skipper: Sweet chester nibits!>br /> Rico is mumbling as he swims towards the crate, but is stopped by the others. Rico: Oh man. Skipper, Kowalski & Private let go off him and grab the crate. Kowalski farts while trying to lift it. They pull the crate up with Rico swimming under it. They have it hooked inside the sub. Kowalski: Steady, steady... The crate's bottom collapses, spilling a pile of herring. Kowalski: (points at Private) His fault. Rico goes crazy, but Skipper holds him against the wall Skipper: Whoa-whoa-whoa wait Rico! This is what I'm talking about. There's plenty of fish to go around, as long everyone shows a little self-discipline. Kowalski slides & eats some fish. Kowalski: Ahh-ha! Mmmm, Skipper, you have got to try this herring! Skipper: Don't mind if I do! Rico: Huh? Rico attempts to get some herring, but Skipper, Kowalski and Private eat all of it before he can get it. Later, he finally gets the last piece of herring. '''Rico': Ah-ha! I got you! (but it slips out his flippers into Private's mouth) What? Private:'' (after swallowing the herring)'' Mmm, satisfying! Skipper: See, Rico, plenty of fish to go around. Everybody's good? You good? You good? You good? Great! Outstanding. Rico looks like he's going to cry Scene IV: Penguin HQ/Habitat The Penguins climb down the ladder. The three fish eaters have full bellies of herring and Rico is upset that he didn't get a single herring. Kowalski: Gentlemen, send your taste buds into retirement. There will never be a extravaganza taste like that in our lifetime. Rico bangs his head in agony against the ladder Private: That herring was so good, (his eyes suddenly go wide) ''it's making me craving for even more fish! ''Kowalski & Skipper laugh, but stop hearing Private laugh Private: (he snaps out of it) Seriously, though, good fish. Muttering angrily, Rico opens a door and gets out a sardine can from a soda can. Skipper: Still hungry, Rico? I don't see how you can eat regular sardines after all of that delicious herring. Kowalski burps and wipes his beak. Private: (he suddenly goes crazy) Sardines? FISH! The fish craving Private charges at Rico. Rico holds up his flipper to keep Private away from his sardines. He pushes Private away and closes the door. Private is held against the wall by Kowalski and Skipper. Kowalski: Private! Skipper: Private! Explain yourself, soldier! Private: FISH! (laughs crazily) Skipper: Kowalski, analysis! Kowalski pulls out some instruments & puts a magnifying glass next to Private's right eye. Kowalski: Crazy eyes... Kowalski puts a popsicle stick on Private's tongue. Private waves his flippers up and down. Kowalski: Babbling tongue... Private bites Kowalski's flipper gets free of their grip runs to Rico, who pushes Private over. Private: FISH! Kowalski: Egad! I believe our Norwegian herring was a bit too aged. Skipper: Never ever blame the fish, Kowalski! Kowalski: But don't you see? (pulls out a clipboard & pencil) Private's been contracted bacterial psyches dementia! A rare cosmic disease that's turning him into a fish-craving psychopath! Rico: Hey! That's my thing! Skipper: Yeah, we don't need two of those. Can he be cured? Kowalski: It should wear off in 24 hours just so as long as he doesn't feed the disease. (pulls up a chart) That means no more fish of any kind. Private ingests so much as a single sardine, he'll be like this forever. Private: (he launches at the chart) FISH! Rico, slyly, puts the sardines in front of Private's face and pulls it away, when he tries to get it' Kowalski and Skipper hold him back and Private yells, "Fish!" Rico does it again and again again. Rico teases him. Skipper: Stop that! Kowalski: Well, on the bright side, maybe this will teach Private not to overindulge in such brined herring. (chuckles) Skipper: Wait, didn't you eat as much as he did? Kowalski's eye twitches and then he's been effected by the disease. Kowalski: Why, yes I doody-doody-did! FISH!! Kowalski lunges at him, but Rico pushes him away. Skipper keeps the two crazy penguins away from the fish. '' '''Skipper': Looks like we're on psycho patrol, amigo. No fish for this two for the next 24 hours. Rico: (suspicious) Uhh, what about you? Skipper: (confidently) Luckily, my ironclad constitution has made me immune to this psyches dementia. Rico: Oh. (looks at him) Skipper: Seriously. (Rico stares at him) No effect. (Rico gives one serious look) Ironclad constitution. Rico smiles, thinking that it should be all right. Suddenly, Rico looks and panics that Skipper is now effected by the disease. Skipper: FIIIISH! Rico AHHH! Rico quickly throws the sardines away and is chased by the three fish-craving penguins. He blocks the door. Rico: Uh,uh,uh. No fish. Alice (from outside) Feeding time! The fish-craving penguins: FIIIISH! They went up babbling. Rico goes up and closes the hatch. Alice tosses the fish. Alice: Eat up, you disgusting animals. The crazy penguins try to get the fish, but eats the fish quickly. Alice throws more fish and Rico catches them before the other penguins could. '' Scene V: Lemur Habitat ''The lemurs are watching from their habitat. Maurice: Since when did we get four Ricos? Julien: Wait, what? How come nobody tell me it was impressionation Tuesday? I call I get to be Maurice! (chuckles) Julien stretches out his ears, clears his throat, and speaks in a low voice. Julien (imitating Maurice) Eh, hey, everybody. Stop having fun, because I'm bored. Heh. And you should be bored too. Heh-heh. Maurice: (being insulted) I do not talk like that! Julien: (in a monotone voice) Yes. You. Do. Maurice: Now, that's just your robot voice. Julien: (still in monotone) End. Transmission. Mort: And I be the King Julien, which means... (looks at his feet) The feet! (tries to hug his feet and tumbles.) Scene VI: Penguin Habitat Alice continues to throw the fish and Rico eats it. Alice: Hey! Baron von Greedistien! Save some for the rest of the flock. She uses the pole to stop Rico. Rico: Give me, give me, give me! Mine, mine, mine! Alice throws the last three fish to the fish craving penguins. Thinking fast, Rico regurgitates a crossbow and fires three arrows, hitting the fish away. The first fish lands in the flamingo habitat, next to Pinky's feet, who squacks in terror. The second fish lands in the otter habitat and hits a tree next to Marlene, who is relaxing on a lounge chair. Marlene: Ooh. Kebabs. The last fish goes to the rhino habitat and, off-camera, hits Roy's rear end. He screams in pain. Rico hides the crossbow behind his back and whistles casually. '''Alice': (sarcastically) Great. All full then? (the three penguins babbled still) Whatever, freaks. (she leaves) Rico: (to his comrades) Uh-uh! No fish! Delivery truck man: Yo, zookeeper lady. Where do you want this truck of fresh cod fillet? Rico: Oh no... The fish craving penguins: FISH!!! Scene VII: Zoo Entrance Suddenly Skipper Kowalski and Private escapes to the zoo entrance. They tried to go crazy for the fish truck after the Delivery Man puts down his newspaper. Skipper, Kowalski and Private:FISH!!! The Penguins attempted to break the glass. Skipper: Fish! Fish! Haha! Fish! (crazily when he bangs the glass with his head) Truck Delivery Man: This ain't happening! THIS AIN'T HAPPENING!! The Truck Delivery Man drives away with the penguins on the car. Rico sees this and goes to the rescue He jumps on the main entrance and lands on the Truck. Rico : Ya! (as he jumps on the truck) Scene VIII: New York City The Truck Delivery Man drives around New York City while the penguins still craves to get fish. The truck almost crashes to a taxi but misses. Skipper : FISH...!!! Truck Delivery Man: UGH! He ons the wiper while the penguins hangs on it. While Rico tries to approach the other penguins, he regurgitates a toilet plunger.. Rico : Eeh! Eeh! Eeh! (while trying to resist the force) Rico peeps on the window and tries to tell the truck delivery man to pull over the truck. But the delivery man just panics. Rico: Ah, pull the car over. Truck Delivery Man : WAAH!!!! The Truck begins driving in random directions when the polie car chases it. The Penguins: AAHH!! Scene IX: Fish Factory They were into a fish factory... (quickly and alternately) Skipper: AH! Rico : OH! Kowalski : UGH! The boxes fell down on the penguins... Rico : OH...!! No... fish... A guy's voice is heard Factory Worker : Alright people! That tuna ain't gonna can itself! Rico rubs his eyes. Rico : Are you kidding me!! The craving penguins stampedes Rico... Craving Penguins : FISH! FISH! GIVE ME!! GIVE ME!!! GIVE ME! ( quickly) Rico: NO! UH... Fish...(opera voice while pointing to a fake fish) The others look where Rico points out... Craving penguins: WOOHEE!!! FISH..!!!!!! Rico: Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! You go ahead, suckers! The craving penguins begins eating the FAKE fish.... Craving Penguins : OH!!!! Skipper: OI! (biting the fake fish) Kowalski:DOH! AH! (while biting the fake fish) Private: Ahhh...( panicking ) Rico looks at the clock and sighs Rico: UGh..... Penguins yelling and biting sounds are heard The clock rotates until morning came... Skipper: Mommy....mommy... (desperately) Rico wakes up Skipper: mommy.... (desperately) Skipper pulls out his mouth Skipper: Rico!Why is mouth crunchy? Rico: AHA! HA! HA!AHA! HA! HA! Rico laughs as he hugs the other penguins. They fell on a car. Penguins: WHOAH! Scene X: Penguin HQ The scene cuts to Private holding a fish on a pillow. Rico jumps in joy Skipper: And so, for conspicuous bravery in the face of uh, himself uh.. times three.. I hereby award Rico this ceremonial smoked alaskan salmon. Rico sighs... when Skipper holds it back Rico: AH! FISH! AH! (While Rico mumbles) Skipper: I think we all learned something today about hungry strained--- Rico interrupts and grabs the fish... (quickly) Rico: GIVE ME! GIVE ME!!GIVE ME!! MINE!! MINE!! MINE! (mumbles in extreme excitement then gobbles up the fish) Skipper: Its Rico's thing. ---- RETURN TO |General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Other|Other}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- THE END OF THE EPISODE ---- Category:Transcripts